Eight Weeks (but who's counting?)

I've been doing a lot of shopping lately.

It all started on Valentine's Day (gag) when I decided to go to the mall and by myself a gift. The mall is a lonely, lonely place on Valentine's Day. Just me, a dozen or so men, and a lot of black teenagers. Anyway, two hours later, I was walking out with a new purse, necklace, earrings, ring, two shirts, and a whole bunch of new underwear. CUTE ones.

The shopping almost gave me a high - - like a "Oh you're going to leave me, huh? Then I'm going to go out and buy ALL NEW STUFF" high. So, today I did some more shopping. I actually went out and bought myself a pair of Uggs. Then I went to Lenscrafters and bought myself a new pair of glasses. (A necessity since I have to switch to bifocals so I can READ again, but still. I got the NICE ones.) After that, I went to TJ Maxx and bought a few new towels.

Guess I'm just trying to make EVERY SINGLE THING new. Like, no trace of Douche. If there's no trace of him, there's no memories. Less memories, anyway. Makes me feel a little bit better. Still. Debt is a bad thing too, so I need to chill out on the shopping for awhile.

I don't talk to Douche that much anymore in case you're wondering. I do have to see him every third day or so when we swap Erik. And we'll occasionally text - - but it's always about our son. My stepmom asked me the other day if Douche ever talks to me about anything - - I guess she's expecting him to apologize, or beg for me to come back or something - - but no. He's civil but extremely impersonal. He says things like, "I gave him a bath last night. There's some stuff in his backpack. Thanks. Bye." 14 years together and that's all I get. Probably just as well though. 'Cause if he did talk to me more, I might get the wrong idea, and start pining again. So I guess I'd rather him stay an asshole.

Meanwhile, I've been dating my old boyfriend. He's got a crazy job that only allows us to see each other on Friday and Saturdays, but we're usually together anymore. Wish I could say, "He's wonderful! Everything I've ever wanted! Douche who?" But I can't. It's just too soon to go there. But I do enjoy his company and sometimes, he can make me forget all this mess. So I'm very thankful that he's here.

I get my contacts in a few days. That will be crazy. Glasses in a couple of weeks. Going to Vegas for the first time in a month so I'm looking forward to getting away for awhile. Work is better now. I no longer have to just put my head down from time to time so that's good. I also haven't cried for a few days. YES. That feels good. However, my dad's health is slipping and I see him getting weaker. So I'm worried about him and going through that alone. Taking it day by day.

Taking everything day by day...