Look at the exciting future.

I am now the (not-so) proud member of three different online dating sites. After I quit talking to R, I became down again - - not crying - the crying has pretty much stopped - - just down. I realized that R was helping numb the pain. So I did what any dumb ass would do in this situation and got online and started talking to complete strangers.

I've been on them for about a week and so far, I've only agreed to meet up with one guy. Meeting him tomorrow for ice cream and my very first ever blind date.

You might be thinking, "no, it's too soon, you need to wait till the divorce is final and you feel better, concentrate on your son and your job and you blah blah blah" - - or maybe I'm thinking that. Either way, ultimately I decided - - what do I have to lose. Besides, it takes my mind off of things.

Spring has sprung and the weather has been awesome lately. My weight has yo-yo'ed but I'm averaging about 13 lbs lost so I've bought some new spring clothes in a smaller size which is pretty cool. I've gotten used to the contacts now - - not sure if anyone else has - my son still tries to put my glasses on me. I'm going to Vegas in a couple of weeks with my folks so that should be fun. Escape is GOOD. Especially to a brand new place I've never been before.

I wish I could say I'm all healed up and it's all good but that's of course not the case. I was just looking over old messages on Facebook and came across one with the ex from January. And of course you can see the current profile picture he's using and that brought me down for a sec. Kind of gives me the shivers actually. Like, I can't believe just a short 3 months ago, I was living with that person. I was married to that person. I was a totally different person.

I either read or saw recently where someone said, "Don't look at the sad past. Look at the exciting future." I need to post that all over my house. Look at the exciting future...