Three weeks in.

At this point, I can't remember what I have or haven't talked about. So if you're following this and I repeat myself, I apologize.

Last week I got the courage up to delete Douche on facebook. This is awesome because now I can visit facebook (something I really enjoy doing) and not have to worry about seeing his happy-ass posts that bring me down. I also deleted my son's account so I couldn't look at his stuff through my son. But guess what. His info and wall are PUBLIC. So... guess what I did? Yep. Went in there and looked. And guess what I found? That he'd deleted every photo he had of me. Which probably took him about two minutes to do. Meanwhile, my facebook photos section is 80% him and it's a HUGE collection. To delete every photo of him in it would take me forever. So what I'm going to try to do instead is make NEW albums WITHOUT Douche in them. So if I come over to your house, don't be surprised to see me with a camera.

Meanwhile, I've been speaking with my old boyfriend. We're going to see a movie next weekend. We talked about how it's just a "friends" thing, how neither one of us wants to remarry EVER, and that nothing extracurricular would happen until I'm divorced - if it happens at all. But in the mean time, he makes me feel pretty again and he's a fun diversion. And that's good enough for me. I was actually able to talk to him last night on the phone and NOT compare him to Douche every ten seconds.

Speaking of Douche, he came and dropped our son off last night and took a few things, and I was able to say "Okay bye" and walk away and be OKAY. That was big for me. I feel like I'm getting a little used to being on my own now. I'm still very angry and upset with him for doing this to me. I wish I had the $$ to see a therapist. I may call our old one and ask if she could base her fee on my pay. I checked my insurance and it doesn't seem to pay for therapy.

It's been snowing here lately. Which means I had to shovel my driveway. I was pretty proud of myself for getting this done. It wasn't much snow, but it still made me happy that I was able to get it done on my own. Next job - take the car in for an oil change.